


Overthinking

by TheSiren913



Category: GMM
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 07:27:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9982820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSiren913/pseuds/TheSiren913





	

I tried not to choke as I thought about it. It was a hard thing to wrap my head around. My observations as of late had confused me. 

My transparency about my feelings was supposed to bring us closer. Rhett was my friend, after all. I didn't want to be dishonest by keeping it from him. In my mind, it would mean we could still flirt and be silly and cuddle, realizing that it wouldn't go any further. Instead, I noticed that it seemed to place a strange wedge between us. Maybe I was more into him than he was into me. Even the other day, I had made a teasing comment about us being best friends, and he had replied with, "Oh, I have a lot of those." Such a seemingly simple thing hurt more than I cared to admit. All I wanted was to hear I was special to him, and he seemed to avoid it like the plague. Were we really that close?

As I sat with him and began to talk about it, I immediately felt silly. Why was I even sad? He spent time with me. Even if he never responded in kind when I said, "I love you, you're my best friend," he was still there for me. My worries were irrelevant. He didn't give unsolicited affection? So what? I didn't either, mostly because I was worried he would take it the wrong way because of my admitted feelings. My embarrassment grew as I talked through it, watching his face. I really didn't want to sabotage our friendship by beating this to death.

"Maybe- I mean, would it just be easier if we pretended I didn't have them? Should I stop talking about it? Because I'm so afraid of pushing you away." I did choke then, a tear escaping and falling down my cheek. I wiped it away quickly, mortified.

For a moment, there was silence. I stared at my lap, feeling as though a weight sat on my chest. 

"Come here, stupid." He beckoned me towards him. I scooted over and he wrapped his arm around me. "I don't want to give people the wrong idea about us. We spend a lot of time together, and anyone else would think we were dating."

My heart sank. 

"I'm not always going to say 'I love you too.' I'm not your boyfriend. Even though sometimes it feels like it, without any of the benefits."

My chest felt empty now.

"But I am your friend. And our friendship is special. I may not be able to give you what you want, but I'm here. And maybe I have been a little hands off. But it's just because I don't want to lead you on." He gave my shoulder a squeeze.

My words exploded from my mouth before I could think, "I know you aren't in love with me. I'm talking about our friendship. I want to be able to love you and know that you aren't going to take everything I say or do as an attempt to get at you. I love you as my friend, and yeah, I would love to just be able to pretend that we have something special and unique and just not be physical. I'd love to be able to show you how I feel by cuddling you and kissing your cheek. I want you to tell me you love me and be comfortable with me as your friend. But if you don't feel that way about me and just want to be platonic, I get it. You've been quite clear that you don't feel the same way about me." I sounded more hurt and irritated than I'd intended.

Rhett chuckled. "OH MY GOD! Calm down." He pulled me into his lap, my head on his shoulder. Another tear escaped my eyes as he kissed my head. "You are special to me. And I do love you."

My angst eroded and dissolved as he rocked me slightly and said softly, "You ARE my best friend."

We sat like that for a while until I murmured, "I'm sorry."

He just kissed my forehead again. "Come on." He motioned for me to get up.

"Where are we going? It's late!" I asked as we both stood. 

RHett smiled. "It's time for bed, and it's cold. Come snuggle with me."

I was surprised, but happy. I crawled under the covers, and he wrapped his arms around me again. It was a big overture to show me he was comfortable. My eyes closed, and soon, wrapped in the arms of my best friend, feeling safe and loved, I fell asleep.


End file.
